Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given: Henri Nouwen’s Gift to the Burned-out Trainee
Calvin Gross, MD, MTS, University of North Carolina Hospitals, Chapel Hill, NC
Medical training’s bruising competition and rejection leads to spiritual brokenness for trainees. The first half of this paper explores this plight. Pre-med students compete for the highest grades, best MCAT scores, and most productive research, and medical school applications deem them worthy or unworthy of admission. As medical students, they again compete for the highest board scores and most impressive research. Clinical rotations add a new dimension to the process: medical students are always “on,” performing for their residents’ and attendings’ approval. The Match further stratifies students by specialty and by institution into tiers of prestige and worth. While training, residents are subjected to intense scrutiny of their clinical skills and frequently reminded of their deficiencies.
These years of competition and worth-proving form trainees into dis-integrated selves, who constantly return to achievement and approval to overcome a sense of inadequacy. This dis-integration becomes spiritual as well as personal. When trainees are constantly reminded that they are inadequate and not worthy of approval, it affects their life with God. Does God, like the many figures in a trainee’s life, also constantly require re-earning approval and re-proving worthiness?
Against these malignant forces of formation and de-formation, Henri Nouwen’s theology of belonging offers a chance of restoration and wholeness. Through the rest of this paper, we will explore how Nouwen diagnoses the spiritual problems of self-rejection and leave-taking. We then turn to Nouwen’s meditations on belovedness and belonging as inspiration for spiritual practices which lead to restoration of life with God for the burned-out trainee.
These years of competition and worth-proving form trainees into dis-integrated selves, who constantly return to achievement and approval to overcome a sense of inadequacy. This dis-integration becomes spiritual as well as personal. When trainees are constantly reminded that they are inadequate and not worthy of approval, it affects their life with God. Does God, like the many figures in a trainee’s life, also constantly require re-earning approval and re-proving worthiness?
Against these malignant forces of formation and de-formation, Henri Nouwen’s theology of belonging offers a chance of restoration and wholeness. Through the rest of this paper, we will explore how Nouwen diagnoses the spiritual problems of self-rejection and leave-taking. We then turn to Nouwen’s meditations on belovedness and belonging as inspiration for spiritual practices which lead to restoration of life with God for the burned-out trainee.