A Multicultural, Multi-religious View of Forgiveness
Olive Poliks, EdD, M.Div, Director, Olive Branch of Stress Management and Conflict Mediation; Chaplain, Edward Hospital, Naperville, Il.
Most hospitals are multicultural and multi-religious, whatever their formal designation. Given this setting, one particular concern is the challenge to provide spiritual care to men and women of all cultural and faith traditions. Individuals of all faiths and non-faiths sit in the bed or at bedside with suffering beyond the physical, even though that is most often the presenting issue. Serious illness and even impending death, often provokes the pain of the inability to forgive. Forgiveness is a topic that demands attention. Hospital chaplains often encounter individuals from all religions who grapple with the inability to forgive themselves or others. After a brief study of selected literature, interviews with five individuals from five major world’s religions will be discussed: Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Recurrent themes of paradigm shift, stages of forgiveness, role models, motivation and connection will be explored. The five individuals selected to interview each practiced their religion since birth. Each individual interviewed was reported to be outstanding role models in their place of worship and all had leadership roles.
A blow to the head, a blow to the heart, unrealized dreams, unfulfilled ambitions or uncooperative bodies, all require forgiveness; this is true whether it is for oneself, for others, for the world, or even for God. The use of the term “forgiveness,” assumes some injustice was perpetrated and some resistance was incurred. One helpful way to understand forgiveness is to view it as a paradigm shift. With a paradigm shift, an individual starts at one stance of “unforgiveable” to a 180-degree turn, at which the same individual realizes that forgiveness is possible. This cognitive dissonance can be instantaneous; on the other hand, this paradigm shift can also be slow. Starting with complete rejection of the new paradigm, the gradual possibility of new information evolves. From this point, new insight is awakened that one tries to fit into the old paradigm. The final stage is complete acceptance of a new paradigm.
As a new paradigm, forgiveness can also be seen as a process of stages. It is a both a destination and a journey. There are three different types of forgiveness for the different kinds of circumstances: exhortation, forbearance and release. Such a description provides a wide vista of the nature of forgiveness. An explanation of the specific development and strategies that promote the healing process of forgiveness will be explored.
Prompting forgiveness is a challenge. Role modeling is one of the basic strategies to encourage change. We can see this most clearly in areas of social justice. Every religious tradition has great role models that inspire its followers. We find these in the sacred scriptures that describe the challenges, failures and triumphs of great heroes within each tradition. A few of these are The Upanishads (Hinduism), The Tripitaka (Buddhism), The Talmud (Judaism), The Holy Bible (Christianity), and The Quran (Islam).
In each of these traditions, we find modern day heroes as living applications of forgiveness. Although role modeling is one way to encourage forgiveness, there are also other strategies of motivation. One motivation is the unrelenting torture of bitter resentment. The pain of the inability to forgive can create the psychic demand that forgiveness is needful and necessary. The self-awareness that forgiveness is necessary must come before forgiveness is possible. Forgiveness requires serious work and introspection. Patience is not its companion.
Letting go is helpful, but often one needs something to let go “to.” Forgiveness fractures a connection with the “other,” person, place, thing, activity, institution, or even God. In all major religions, the lack of “connectedness” is a sense of being separated from that which is whole or holy. All spiritual and religious traditions agree that there is a deep separation, from the divine and one’s true self; it is the sense of estrangement from God or the Sacred. The lack of forgiveness can create the toxic pain of brokenness. The ability to forgive can provide a glimpse of the sacred.
The interviews described in this presentation will offer one unique individual view and represent one particular reference-based opinion. Although each of these interviews offers a different view yet, in some ways, each offers a similar view of forgiveness.
Each of the individuals stressed the importance of scripture as a source of motivation and instruction. All stressed that scripture should be internalized and lived out in one’s daily life. For all of these interviewed the reasons to forgive are similar: To forgive others builds the faith community to which they belong: To forgive others breaks the ties that binds one to unhappy relationships, events or memories: To forgive others opens up an awareness of a need beyond one’s own ability, i.e., an “other consciousness.
All describe an experience of finding strength outside themselves. One common denominator for each of these individuals was an open and compassionate attitude toward others in their own faith community, and to people of other faiths and non-faiths. Each seemed comfortable with them self and with others. Each of these five people took their religion very seriously…but not themselves. Each had an easy laugh and seemed very open to questions; each was very willing to explain any confusion in understanding; each demonstrated gratitude, i.e., viewing life through the lens of thankfulness; each seems to have a gentle grasp on life, reflected in an easy and open attitude of acceptance of self and others. Such characteristics are marks of spiritual people who become spiritual leaders; this is true for each of these individuals as identified by others in their faith community. Each has much to offer us as we explore the topic of a multicultural, multi-religious view of forgiveness.
Most hospitals are multicultural and multi-religious, whatever their formal designation. Given this setting, one particular concern is the challenge to provide spiritual care to men and women of all cultural and faith traditions. Individuals of all faiths and non-faiths sit in the bed or at bedside with suffering beyond the physical, even though that is most often the presenting issue. Serious illness and even impending death, often provokes the pain of the inability to forgive. Forgiveness is a topic that demands attention. Hospital chaplains often encounter individuals from all religions who grapple with the inability to forgive themselves or others. After a brief study of selected literature, interviews with five individuals from five major world’s religions will be discussed: Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Recurrent themes of paradigm shift, stages of forgiveness, role models, motivation and connection will be explored. The five individuals selected to interview each practiced their religion since birth. Each individual interviewed was reported to be outstanding role models in their place of worship and all had leadership roles.
A blow to the head, a blow to the heart, unrealized dreams, unfulfilled ambitions or uncooperative bodies, all require forgiveness; this is true whether it is for oneself, for others, for the world, or even for God. The use of the term “forgiveness,” assumes some injustice was perpetrated and some resistance was incurred. One helpful way to understand forgiveness is to view it as a paradigm shift. With a paradigm shift, an individual starts at one stance of “unforgiveable” to a 180-degree turn, at which the same individual realizes that forgiveness is possible. This cognitive dissonance can be instantaneous; on the other hand, this paradigm shift can also be slow. Starting with complete rejection of the new paradigm, the gradual possibility of new information evolves. From this point, new insight is awakened that one tries to fit into the old paradigm. The final stage is complete acceptance of a new paradigm.
As a new paradigm, forgiveness can also be seen as a process of stages. It is a both a destination and a journey. There are three different types of forgiveness for the different kinds of circumstances: exhortation, forbearance and release. Such a description provides a wide vista of the nature of forgiveness. An explanation of the specific development and strategies that promote the healing process of forgiveness will be explored.
Prompting forgiveness is a challenge. Role modeling is one of the basic strategies to encourage change. We can see this most clearly in areas of social justice. Every religious tradition has great role models that inspire its followers. We find these in the sacred scriptures that describe the challenges, failures and triumphs of great heroes within each tradition. A few of these are The Upanishads (Hinduism), The Tripitaka (Buddhism), The Talmud (Judaism), The Holy Bible (Christianity), and The Quran (Islam).
In each of these traditions, we find modern day heroes as living applications of forgiveness. Although role modeling is one way to encourage forgiveness, there are also other strategies of motivation. One motivation is the unrelenting torture of bitter resentment. The pain of the inability to forgive can create the psychic demand that forgiveness is needful and necessary. The self-awareness that forgiveness is necessary must come before forgiveness is possible. Forgiveness requires serious work and introspection. Patience is not its companion.
Letting go is helpful, but often one needs something to let go “to.” Forgiveness fractures a connection with the “other,” person, place, thing, activity, institution, or even God. In all major religions, the lack of “connectedness” is a sense of being separated from that which is whole or holy. All spiritual and religious traditions agree that there is a deep separation, from the divine and one’s true self; it is the sense of estrangement from God or the Sacred. The lack of forgiveness can create the toxic pain of brokenness. The ability to forgive can provide a glimpse of the sacred.
The interviews described in this presentation will offer one unique individual view and represent one particular reference-based opinion. Although each of these interviews offers a different view yet, in some ways, each offers a similar view of forgiveness.
Each of the individuals stressed the importance of scripture as a source of motivation and instruction. All stressed that scripture should be internalized and lived out in one’s daily life. For all of these interviewed the reasons to forgive are similar: To forgive others builds the faith community to which they belong: To forgive others breaks the ties that binds one to unhappy relationships, events or memories: To forgive others opens up an awareness of a need beyond one’s own ability, i.e., an “other consciousness.
All describe an experience of finding strength outside themselves. One common denominator for each of these individuals was an open and compassionate attitude toward others in their own faith community, and to people of other faiths and non-faiths. Each seemed comfortable with them self and with others. Each of these five people took their religion very seriously…but not themselves. Each had an easy laugh and seemed very open to questions; each was very willing to explain any confusion in understanding; each demonstrated gratitude, i.e., viewing life through the lens of thankfulness; each seems to have a gentle grasp on life, reflected in an easy and open attitude of acceptance of self and others. Such characteristics are marks of spiritual people who become spiritual leaders; this is true for each of these individuals as identified by others in their faith community. Each has much to offer us as we explore the topic of a multicultural, multi-religious view of forgiveness.