Chaplains and Child Abuse: Prayer, presence, and holy indifference
Claudia Ricks Hubbard MDiv, BCC, Children's Mercy
Chaplains in children’s hospitals are often called upon in cases of child abuse where the chaplain’s role is complex role. Guilt, shame, secrecy and blame are common. The chaplain must try to build trust while necessarily having some dual loyalties. I will present a case study of a chaplain’s interactions with the family of an 8 month old with a traumatic brain injury. The case study includes interviews with chaplains, observations of their interactions with families, and analysis by clinicians and scholars in psychology, literature, and communication.
“Brandon” was admitted to the PICU with a subdural hemorrhage. The family claimed not to know how the injury occurred. Child protective services could not identify the perpetrator. After three days in the hospital, he was taken from his 20 year old mother and placed with the great-grandmother. “Chaplain Elinor” worked with the family.
Elinor: “Abuse cases are always hard. It is just beyond me to understand how somebody could hurt a child. But I’ve learned that it is not as clear cut as I thought it was going to be. I have found places within myself to feel compassion when I didn’t know that I would.”
On Day #2, Grandfather asks to have a confidential discussion with Elinor. She informs him that if he reports knowledge of someone hurting Brandon, then she is obligated to report that. “Well, it is not that,” he says, “But I have a suspicion that I think should be looked into. Mom’s step-father may have hurt Brandon. I don’t want anyone to know that I am the one who brought this up.” Elinor promises to let the social worker know.
On Day #3, at the request of the grandmother, Elinor prays: “Oh good and gracious God, there are so many questions and so much pain. Everyone who loves and cares about Brandon is feeling scared and somewhat helpless, Lord. Quiet their fears and guide them as they all seek what is best for Brandon. Today we especially pray for mom, knowing how much she loves Brandon and how frightened she must be. We pray that she will feel the love that surrounds her, yours and that of her family.” Seemingly out of nowhere, the great-grandmother says, “Oh, we need healing in this family.”
Post-study reflections: “As a chaplain I enter into a relationship with a patient/family knowing that it will be brief and often very intense. When they leave the hospital that ends our relationship. There are often many unanswered questions. I make the transition from intense involvement to letting go through a concept known as ‘holy indifference.’ I have the honor and privilege to serve of bearing witness to the events of the time we share and then I have the responsibility to them, and to myself, to prayerfully step away. My task is to let go and entrust them to what and who they will encounter beyond me.
I will present more details from the case and our analysis.
Chaplains in children’s hospitals are often called upon in cases of child abuse where the chaplain’s role is complex role. Guilt, shame, secrecy and blame are common. The chaplain must try to build trust while necessarily having some dual loyalties. I will present a case study of a chaplain’s interactions with the family of an 8 month old with a traumatic brain injury. The case study includes interviews with chaplains, observations of their interactions with families, and analysis by clinicians and scholars in psychology, literature, and communication.
“Brandon” was admitted to the PICU with a subdural hemorrhage. The family claimed not to know how the injury occurred. Child protective services could not identify the perpetrator. After three days in the hospital, he was taken from his 20 year old mother and placed with the great-grandmother. “Chaplain Elinor” worked with the family.
Elinor: “Abuse cases are always hard. It is just beyond me to understand how somebody could hurt a child. But I’ve learned that it is not as clear cut as I thought it was going to be. I have found places within myself to feel compassion when I didn’t know that I would.”
On Day #2, Grandfather asks to have a confidential discussion with Elinor. She informs him that if he reports knowledge of someone hurting Brandon, then she is obligated to report that. “Well, it is not that,” he says, “But I have a suspicion that I think should be looked into. Mom’s step-father may have hurt Brandon. I don’t want anyone to know that I am the one who brought this up.” Elinor promises to let the social worker know.
On Day #3, at the request of the grandmother, Elinor prays: “Oh good and gracious God, there are so many questions and so much pain. Everyone who loves and cares about Brandon is feeling scared and somewhat helpless, Lord. Quiet their fears and guide them as they all seek what is best for Brandon. Today we especially pray for mom, knowing how much she loves Brandon and how frightened she must be. We pray that she will feel the love that surrounds her, yours and that of her family.” Seemingly out of nowhere, the great-grandmother says, “Oh, we need healing in this family.”
Post-study reflections: “As a chaplain I enter into a relationship with a patient/family knowing that it will be brief and often very intense. When they leave the hospital that ends our relationship. There are often many unanswered questions. I make the transition from intense involvement to letting go through a concept known as ‘holy indifference.’ I have the honor and privilege to serve of bearing witness to the events of the time we share and then I have the responsibility to them, and to myself, to prayerfully step away. My task is to let go and entrust them to what and who they will encounter beyond me.
I will present more details from the case and our analysis.